5
Scarce had he spoken when the brickman's wife
Cry'd out; Good Lord ! he's here, upon my life.
Forth from behind the wheels the villian came
And swore such words as I dare hardly name,
But you'll suppose them brother—not to drop
From me, but him—"D—in ye coachman stop"
Your money zounds, peste deliver me your money
Quick d—n ye, quick; must I stay waiting on ye ?
Quick or I'll send—(and nearer still he rode)
A brace of balls amongst ye all by —d.
I leave you sir, to judge yourself what plight
We all were put in by this cursed wight.
The trembling females into labour fell;
Big with the sudden fear, they pout, they swell
And soon deliver'd by his horrid curse
Brought forth two strange and praeternatural purse,
That looked indeed like purses, made of leather :
But let the sweet tong'ud—say whether
A common purse could possibly conceal
Shillings, halfcrowns, and halfpence by piecemea 1.
The youth who flung the bottle at the knave
Before he came, now thought it best to waive .
Such resolution, and preserve the liquor,
Since a round guinea might be thrown much quicker,
So with impetuous haste he Hung him that
Which the sharp rascal parried with his hat,
His right hand man, a brother of our quill,
Prudently chose to show his own good will,
By the same token, and without much scruple,
Made the red-rugged collector's income duple.
My heart—for truth I always must confess—
Did sink—an inch exactly—more or less.
With both my eyes I view'd the thief's approach ;
And read the case of " Pistol versus Coach,"
A woeful case, which I had oft heard quoted ;
But ne'er before in all my practice noted.
So when the lawyers brought in their report,
Guinea per christian to be paid in Court;
Well off, thinks I with the same thief I swore
If he prefers this action for no more.